This picture was taken in May of 2012 when I graduated from community college and received my Associate Degrees in Liberal Arts (Emphasis in Math and Science). In less than a month, I will, once again, walk across the stage during the commencement ceremony. This time, to obtain my Bachelors of Science degree in Biological Sciences (Physiology).
It has been an eventful journey for the past two years and this is the first time I’ve actually had a chance to sit down and reflect on the past 24 months of my life. Also, I realized I am turning 24 in exactly one month which is also very exciting and scary at the same time. Man, it’s the last year I will spend before I turn into the next quarter of my life. And I can finally rent a car next year without paying the surcharge.
I can’t even begin to explain how intense the feelings and emotions running through my veins. Maybe it’s the coffee still keeping me up and alert, or the final 3 weeks of school jitters or the fact that my mom just half asleep texted me "I’m proud of you." See, that’s big for me because my parents are the type who will always talk shit to your face and will always compliment you behind your back. And I can’t complain because having to constantly prove myself to them is one of the ways I pulled motivation from.
It’s crazy to think I planned something two years ago - transfer to finish my undergrad, find a stable dental office to work for and a new home. And seeing that all come together is a crazy blissful realization. I’ve always been they type of person to keep moving, to try and make room for progress and improvement, yet, it has always been the start of change that takes the most courage and audacity, so I do stop, hesitate and doubt myself. And now that I feel like I am closing one chapter and begin a new one, I am starting to feel that funny feeling in my stomach once again.
But who isn’t afraid of change? I am only human.
Stepping into a new direction, unfamiliar, and unacquainted place is always a scary thought. That’s why there’s always that hesitation and uncertainty that comes over us. Even though we should always remember that when an opportunity knocks, open, hold the door and welcome it, there’s always that feeling of doubt. And even though we know that we must stop the battle between our hearts, between our minds, between ourselves, fear seems to always play a significant part.
The simple thought of “change” is scary. Just as how it was that morning of our graduation, the first day in college, the first day on a new job or even on our first real date. All these are quite frightening because it’s something we are not accustomed to. Why? Because finally, we are stepping out of our comfort zone, stepping out of our boundaries and opening that door to what is foreign to us. Then again, who doesn’t get scared of that idea though, right?
No matter how many times we think it through, no matter how exciting the thought of that change might be, and no matter how beneficial, how good, how amazing, and how much joy that change might bring into our lives, we still find ourselves skeptical. No matter how many times we might peek and look through what’s on the other side. Fear always seems to win, because as soon as you open that door, you never really know what’s behind it. Do we open it? Or just let it be?
It’s difficult because we understand that when we do open that door, there’s no turning back. All we could really hope for is to make the right decision of welcoming it, or not. And if we fail, fall and get hurt, we’ll be stronger, wiser and we’ll pick up the pieces and move forward. But it just gets better from here, day in to day out.
That’s what makes life so interesting. We are all presented with these challenges, these opportunities, these moments, these experiences, that we can all get bits and pieces of lessons we pick up from. It’s all part of being human. It’s all part of how we live and develop. It’s all part of the excitement of life. Because remember, ”There is nothing wrong with change, if it is in the right direction.” - Winston Churchill
- Carmela David