"It is never too late or too soon. It is when it is supposed to be." ⌚️
I’m lying on my side and I’m wondering when will it all collapse
I’m lying to myself if I said that I’m never coming back
Can’t remember all the things that you said, or the reasons why I left
But now this room is spinning while I’m trying just to fill in all the gaps
When people stop writing, it’s one of two things - they are either really fucking happy or broken beyond repair.
It’s all about falling in love with yourself and sharing that love with someone who appreciates you, rather than looking for love to compensate for a self love deficit.
This picture was taken in May of 2012 when I graduated from community college and received my Associate Degrees in Liberal Arts (Emphasis in Math and Science). In less than a month, I will, once again, walk across the stage during the commencement ceremony. This time, to obtain my Bachelors of Science degree in Biological Sciences (Physiology).
It has been an eventful journey for the past two years and this is the first time I’ve actually had a chance to sit down and reflect on the past 24 months of my life. Also, I realized I am turning 24 in exactly one month which is also very exciting and scary at the same time. Man, it’s the last year I will spend before I turn into the next quarter of my life. And I can finally rent a car next year without paying the surcharge.
I can’t even begin to explain how intense the feelings and emotions running through my veins. Maybe it’s the coffee still keeping me up and alert, or the final 3 weeks of school jitters or the fact that my mom just half asleep texted me "I’m proud of you." See, that’s big for me because my parents are the type who will always talk shit to your face and will always compliment you behind your back. And I can’t complain because having to constantly prove myself to them is one of the ways I pulled motivation from.
It’s crazy to think I planned something two years ago - transfer to finish my undergrad, find a stable dental office to work for and a new home. And seeing that all come together is a crazy blissful realization. I’ve always been they type of person to keep moving, to try and make room for progress and improvement, yet, it has always been the start of change that takes the most courage and audacity, so I do stop, hesitate and doubt myself. And now that I feel like I am closing one chapter and begin a new one, I am starting to feel that funny feeling in my stomach once again.
But who isn’t afraid of change? I am only human.
Stepping into a new direction, unfamiliar, and unacquainted place is always a scary thought. That’s why there’s always that hesitation and uncertainty that comes over us. Even though we should always remember that when an opportunity knocks, open, hold the door and welcome it, there’s always that feeling of doubt. And even though we know that we must stop the battle between our hearts, between our minds, between ourselves, fear seems to always play a significant part.
The simple thought of “change” is scary. Just as how it was that morning of our graduation, the first day in college, the first day on a new job or even on our first real date. All these are quite frightening because it’s something we are not accustomed to. Why? Because finally, we are stepping out of our comfort zone, stepping out of our boundaries and opening that door to what is foreign to us. Then again, who doesn’t get scared of that idea though, right?
No matter how many times we think it through, no matter how exciting the thought of that change might be, and no matter how beneficial, how good, how amazing, and how much joy that change might bring into our lives, we still find ourselves skeptical. No matter how many times we might peek and look through what’s on the other side. Fear always seems to win, because as soon as you open that door, you never really know what’s behind it. Do we open it? Or just let it be?
It’s difficult because we understand that when we do open that door, there’s no turning back. All we could really hope for is to make the right decision of welcoming it, or not. And if we fail, fall and get hurt, we’ll be stronger, wiser and we’ll pick up the pieces and move forward. But it just gets better from here, day in to day out.
That’s what makes life so interesting. We are all presented with these challenges, these opportunities, these moments, these experiences, that we can all get bits and pieces of lessons we pick up from. It’s all part of being human. It’s all part of how we live and develop. It’s all part of the excitement of life. Because remember, ”There is nothing wrong with change, if it is in the right direction.” - Winston Churchill
- Carmela David
I wonder how biology can explain the physical pain you feel in your chest when all you want to do is be with someone.
Communicate: Talk about things, the good and bad. Build trusts. Be honest. Be faithful. Be there for one another. Make time for one another. Leave the past to the past, which include ex’s. Know that having arguments are normal. Know that you won’t always be happy. Don’t expect change. Appreciate the flaws. Appreciate each other. Become best friends. Lastly, love each other unconditionally.
Truth is, I don’t have my shit together one hundred and one percent of the time. There are days that everything might seem like I have everything perfectly, but there are also days that nothing works out in my favor, at all.
Every single day, chances are, I will make even a simple mistake and mess up and think that I have failed in life. Yes, even the least complex problems get the best of me sometimes.
You see, my life is not perfect. I am not perfect.
But the amazing thing is, we are all built to learn from the mistakes we make, despite how big or small they are. We are all meant to progress and develop into something bigger and brighter through all the challenges we face day by day. The best thing about falling down is the ability to stand back up. These experiences, lessons, our resilience & little triumphs, defines us. It’s all bout the little things.
"Remember, experience is the best teacher, for it gives you the test first, then the lesson."
- Carmela David (2010)
I think one of the most important aspects about relationships is fully understanding that it is not meant to be perfect. Relationships are difficult, complex and they require a lot of hard work and determination. Just like people. I think that each and everyone, regardless how easy-going a person is naturally, could be at one point or another difficult to deal with. Humans are not invulnerable to stress, to anxiety and the pressures of life. We’re perfectly imperfect, just as it reflects the relationships we have with others. Oftentimes, as people entertain the idea of relationships, they envision a place where they ought to gain something. People often want to find someone that can make them happy. And when that happiness is falling out of place, we find a million and one reasons to let go. Relationships are tedious and requires lots and lots of perseverance. But just like anything and everything that’s worth it, nothing will ever come easy.
- Carmela David
Anonymous asked: do you have an occupation in writing?
No, I do not.