"The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall." - Nelson Mandela (1918-2013)
This post is for you. Yes, you. The one behind the screen scrolling through endless pieces of writing and photos with quotes that reassures you that you are not alone. Some type of justification for “It’s alright, others are miserable too”, so you’re sitting there dejected to participate in any type of activity towards moving on. And I get it, ‘cause truth be told, I’ve been there too. But remember, this isn’t about me. This is about you.
When people break up, your first thought is the ending like, the END of everything. And you just sit there and think to yourself that “It’s over. My life will never be the same. My life sucks, etc.” But I don’t blame you. We’re all susceptible to that type of vulnerability.
Because honestly, it does suck. Especially when you know that there’s always some type of fragmentary and incomplete conversations, like, wishing you wrote down everything you really wanted to say the last time you were together. And you feel like if you do not pick up the phone and schedule another one of those “last talks before really breaking up”, those unfinished conversations turns into can’t-sleep-at-thee-am and there’s a bunch of lingering feelings hovering above your head while you try to drown these fuckin’ thoughts with a bottle of Jack.
So this post is for you. For the ones who choose to drench your sorrows by masking them with nights of getting “way too fucked up until you pass out” and girl’s night out doesn’t necessarily mean catching up anymore. It suddenly means talking endlessly about how miserable you feel because you’re no longer together, so you talk and talk and cry and weep, just hoping and praying this will cleanse it out of your system. Ultimately, everyone’s just tired of the shit, so you’re back to laughing and giggling and shit-talking pretending, “I don’t care anymore” or “It’s his loss anyways.” But you go back home and when you’re all alone and you sober up, you’re damn miserable again.
This one is for you. The one who still looks at his IG profile to see who are all these bitches liking his photos. Or how awesome the party looked for his mom’s 50th birthday thinking, “What if I was still part of that family?” Or who owns that second cup in his Starbucks date picture. And finally, it’s clarified that there is a new someone. And that someone is actually really pretty. And she’s educated. And she’s family oriented. And no matter how much you want to hate her, you can’t. Because something tells you that even though you didn’t have your happy ending, he’s out working on writing his. And he, fuck man, he seems happy.
But this isn’t about him. This post is still about you, the one person who needs to accept the fact that it is over. I’m telling you again, it’s over. I even put in in bold writing. You have got to stop reminiscing about the past, whether good or bad, because no matter how much you cry, you go out and drink, and how much you want to flip the world upside down, it’s all but fragments of memories. One day, they will no longer fill your brain and while you try and try to remember every single detail, everyone else (but you) is out creating new ones.
Did it ever cross your mind that maybe, just maybe, by doing so, you are missing out on so many possibilities and potential to write the next chapter of your life? And by being stuck in the past, you are robbing yourself (and your next somebody) of the mere chance of writing that together?
I wrote this post for you. The one who is still scared to take that leap of faith and attempt to do it all over again. The one who is scared to put yourself out there, worrying if this time, it’ll just be another one of those “I invested all my time and emotions bullshit… Turns out to be another failed relationship and another waste of precious time.” And if it is, at least you pulled yourself out of the hole and managed to try and find that light.
It’s never too late to find the next best thing. When you’re too buried deep in that slum, you’re depriving yourself of meeting damn so many amazing people who could possibly interest you and help you find yourself again. And if by chance you do not find love just yet, you find new friends that are fun and wonderful and people whose company you will enjoy. But that won’t happen if you won’t try. And when you do, ultimately, everything else will fall into place. Trust me.
- Carmela David
They told me that to make her fall in love, I had to make her laugh. But everytime she laughs, I’m the one who falls in love.
Anonymous asked: Are you happy?
You want the honest truth? Extremely.
Sometimes, it is three in the morning. You nonchalantly come alive from a dream so sweet, yet you have no recollection of it because you realize, a gentle arm tightening up around your very waist. You feel ever so safe, a different feeling from all the other dark and lonely 3 am’s you’ve had the last how many years, but who’s counting? You’re laying there in the dark, yet you’re burning fire with passion that only you two can see illuminate. You generate sparks without even igniting a single flame. You feel so damn vulnerable, yet no one can hurt you, because those arms, those arms are of the man who’s there to protect you. You feel every crevice of his body, every corner and every slight brush of his skin against yours and just before you make a single motion, he pulls you even closer. It’s almost as if you two are one whole being. And just when you think that there’s no better feeling than this, he whispers so deeply, so gently and ever so peacefully, “Baby, I love you.”
- Carmela David
Some people just never leave you. No matter how many weeks, months, years, they’ll forever be imprinted and embossed in every fiber of your being. Some say people come and go, but certainly, there are certain people that’ll everlastingly just reside, heart and mind, without ever having an intention to fade from the mental compartment that just throbs, throbs with every beat of our hearts, just persistently reminding us of every bittersweet memories of you, them, and all the things shared so passionately, to a point it overpowers every thought we may have in our heads. My mind is so restless, so impatient, and so keen to achieve its peace, the piece that’s missing that’s so difficult and so intricate to reach, only because some people just never leave you, much like a scar from a wound that will forever be a reminder of everything that you remember them by - their subtle and unique scent, those piercing eyes when they lay on yours or the way they run their fingers on your cheek.
No matter how much time passes, they’re there. And they never leave.
- Carmela David
It’s easy to take off all your clothes and have sex. People do it all the time. But opening up your soul to someone, letting them into your spirit, thoughts, fears, future, hopes, dreams. Now that’s being naked.
Anonymous asked: Thoughts about a real happy family.
Like my mother and father always quote, “Even though we ain’t got money, I’m so in love with you honey." Happiness is not about having the best of everything. It’s making the best out of everything you’ve got. We might not have everything we want, but we do have everything we need. And that is each other. Always make time. No matter how busy you may get, always visit, call, text, Facebook, whatever it is that keeps you connected. There’s no better feeling than being surrounded by love and family.
Just like everything in life, in order to get from one place to another, there is always a journey you are bound to go through. If you really think about it, there are so many things you did, you felt and you had to experience to be the person that you are right now. You see, it took you twenty something years to understand why you do the things that you do, feel the emotions that you feel, and how you handle situations when life gives you the good, the bad and the ugly. But no matter what happened in the past, you, yes you, were able to look pass everything and you moved on.
Your heart is a resilient organ. It keeps going no matter how much it is struck and broken. With every defeat, with every setback and with every beating, it comes out stronger than it was before. You might have cried your self to sleep for three or four days straight. You might have called your girlfriends to stay up with you and binge watch your favorite show while you pound a bottle of wine after another. You might have missed your bus stop, daydreaming about what would have been, could have been, and should have been if you were still together. But after some time, little by little, the gaping hole in your heart, the one that throbs with every thought of it, starts to shut. And one day, you can wake up and look in the mirror and find yourself feeling fine. And actually mean it.
In a perfect world, it would have been different. There would be no heartaches and heartbreaks, nor pictures being deleted or letters being thrown, or phone lines to be disconnected, or names to remove off a lease, or silly videos of you two saying “Forever and ever”, nor divorce papers and endless memories you try to forget. This isn’t the perfect world and we all get hurt. We all get our fair share. And there are times that you want to scream at the top of your lungs just to see if that can ease the pain, or you drink yourself to sleep because sometimes, the pain is so unbearable, or you feel like your heart is literally and physically aching and bleeding and excruciating with every beat and every thought and every recollection.
But just remember, your heart is a resilient organ. It keeps going no matter how much it is struck and broken. With every defeat, with every setback and with every beating, it comes out stronger than it was before.
All of this is nothing but a part of your journey. It’s all right to cry and fall apart right now but tomorrow, you have to let it go. You move on not because there’s nothing else to do, but you move on because there will be better things out there for you. And trust me, you do.
- Carmela David
Anonymous asked: How do you feel about second chances?
I used to be the girl who didn’t give out too many, until I realized, I needed them myself. Everyone deserves a second chance. We’re all imperfect human beings and we all have to realize how or what it is to be wrong in order for us to make it right. There’s no such thing as perfection. It’s more like “over and over until we get it right.”
I feel like there are a million things I want to say, but I just can’t find the words to do the justice. If you ask me how I feel right now, I’d say I don’t even know and that feeling of not knowing is starting to become so familiar. I thought I have found myself once again and regained even just a bit piece of clarity but somehow, every time I feel like I am feeling any close to comfort, I find myself falling back into a hole I no longer find a ground. I keep falling. And when I feel like I stop, just so I can look up to see how far I’ve gone, I free fall once again. Fuck. This time, even faster. This time, even deeper. Sometimes, I don’t even know where to begin to save myself.