Love is more than just boxes of chocolates & bouquets of flowers & jewelries and diamond, presents. It is about you thinking you’re giving nothing but to them it’s everything. Love overlooks money & fails to look at all the material things. It is more than just saying sorry and forgiving.

Love is about learning from your mistakes & trying not to make the same ones over and over. Love is about disregarding all the differences behind, and not bringing them up again. Love does not hold a grudge, because love, you forget all that painful things & move on to the better things. 

Love is more than just holding hands when things are good, but holding them tighter when things are bad. Love is more than just saying ‘I love you’ during the good times and happy times, but being able to say the same phrase, with the same meaning during angry times, and in times of distress.

Love is more than just about your partner, but it is more about you and about God. Like they say, if you haven’t found God, you haven’t found love.

- Carmela David (2009) 

From Tumblr to fast food, smoking to even sex, I read more & more of people’s never ending list of things to give up for lent. As a Catholic, I know I am obligated to give up something because it is the season of sacrifice.

I do not believe in the kind of lent people portray it to be. It will be such a hypocrisy to say I can choose a random thing to ‘give up’ just because I know it is my obligation as a Catholic. It’s easy to give up something for 40 days, because you know after that month & a week, you are able to do it again.

The question is, how sincere are you? Because last time I checked, Jesus wasn’t worked up about not going on Facebook or not eating a single Big Mac for forty days. Lent isn’t only about giving up our earthly desires, but it is more about giving, making personal sacrifices and share what we have with others who fall short on what they currently posses.

Help an old lady cross the street instead of wasting you time looking at your Twitter feed while waiting for the bus. Buy a homeless man his dinner, instead of buying a pack of cigarettes. Something, right? This is a time to internalize the importance of true sacrifice. God sacrificed his only Son to save us from our sins. Jesus sacrificed His life for our sins to be forgiven. It had nothing to do with TV, beer or chocolate. Lent is not so much about what we give up, but it is more about what we are willing to give.

- Carmela David (2010)

Because I have been treated like a princess, and likewise treated like shit, by men predestined to walk in and out of my life, still, I have never wanted anything other than happiness in whatever they do or desire, regardless how good or bad our relationship might have ended (except one, that bitch). 

So to the next woman in line, here’s something I’d like to share, woman to woman. 

“Your man, my ex man, as you probably know he’s a good man”. But the other side of him, as you might not know yet, could be an ugly man. He’s an asshole, and mind you, I didn’t find him that way, but I kind of made that man that way. So honey, when he introduces that side to you, don’t blame yourself. 

As good of a man he is, it didn’t take much to turn him into an asshole. I made him mad. I made him insane & I made him rude. I made him act a little obnoxious and distasteful. Now he’s a total “douchebag”, yet you will somehow find the oddest reason to still stick with him. ‘Cause even though he’s a bit of an asshole, you will find a whole different person when he’s most vulnerable. 

He won’t treat you like a princess, ‘cause to him you’re nothing less than a queen. He won’t hesitate to take you shopping the next morning after working a 10-hour graveyard shift just ‘cause he knows you’re in need of retail therapy. He will pass up happy hour or Monday football ‘cause you asked him if he can hang those pictures you recently bought from Crate and Barrel & in your opinion, “there’s always next Monday to watch football”. Yes, he bitched about it, but yet, in the end, who wins? You. 

I could sit here & give you 30 minute apology, but here’s a simple, “My bad”. But you know what, he’s going to be good for you. ‘Cause although he’s a bit of an asshole, you will never find another man who will give you the world and more.

It’s hard work, but nobody said it was ever going to be easy, right? Rome wasn’t built in a day, not even two. Only I, of course, thought I shouldn’t have to work that hard, so yes, I’ll admit it, I showed him how to be an asshole, by being one myself. I was the asshole for blatantly not fighting for him. I was the asshole for thinking I am way too good to try. And definitely, I was the asshole for thinking he doesn’t deserve a woman like me.

I might have made him feel unappreciated. I might have wanted way more than he could give. I might have been the one who’s always dissatisfied with the best he could ever offer. I might have been the one to make him feel as if his world should only revolve around me and me, only. I might have been the one to act belligerently that in consequence, to all his intents and purpose, forced him to build these walls and ultimately, his real feelings and emotions are forced to be masked. 

But in the end, yes, he’s an asshole, but not ‘cause he wants to. Just ‘cause I made him feel the need to. And since you’re the next woman in line, woman to woman, appreciate him, love him and adore him, ‘cause behind that mask, the man that just didn’t work quite right for me, is a man who’s going to appreciate, love and adore you a hundred times more. And maybe you, will be a better woman for him than me. So woman to woman, sorry, good luck and thank you.

- Carmela David (2010)

(Inspired by Man to the Next Man by Jozen Cummings) 

There’s just so many people in the world we are bound to meet. Whether we meet them while we’re waiting for the 7 o’clock Bart ride to Downtown San Francisco or at a local Starbucks while waiting for our daily Grande Caramel Frappuccino, maybe ten, maybe close to twenty, we’ll see new faces on a daily basis. There are the ones that we just say a simple, “Hello” to, ones we become long term friends with, ones we build an intimate relationship with and of course, ones that just get away. 

The ones that get away? Well yeah, those ones. Perhaps, we might already know this person who got away or this person is one we have yet to meet. And come to think of it, he or she just might be the best possible and most ideal individual that we envisioned to love and care about. You know, the one where everything is perfect, but nevertheless, the timing just might not have been well, perfect. Because somehow, somewhat, we realize that the hand we were dealt was the hand difficult, and worse, impossible to play with. So we just let them be - the person who got away. 

They say, “Life is all about timing”. The right time to hit the ball with a baseball bat, the right time to say the punch line on a funny joke or the right time to shoot a perfect subject for a portrait. In most cases, it’s true that life is relevant to a certain “perfect timing”. And you see, maybe finding the right love requires the right time as well. ‘Cause come on, let’s face it, we’re not in our teens anymore and there’s just no more time left to waste on the wrong ones. 

How often do we go through our daily lives without being aware of it? If we’re not ready, we just won’t be ready now or ten minutes later. And remember, we can’t just force ourselves into being in something we can’t devote our hundred and one percent to. The little arguments. The little disagreements. The things that eventually lead to the end of the road. The same road we’ve all been through one too many times. And it might not be us, and it might not be them, nor the million excuses for the pathetic lines like, “It’s not you, it’s me”. It might not be that. It’s might just be the time. 

Sometimes, we tend to think we’ve got everything all figured out - when it should happen, how it should happen and who it should happen with. And sometimes, we tend to wonder why we think about certain things that we could have waited for to do and things we should have done a long time ago. We sometimes wonder if it would be any different if waited to mature a little bit more or wished to do all the things we should have done when we were a little bit younger.

So when the day comes and we are slowly putting the pieces together, and we finally figured ourselves out, and we know and we are sure of what we exactly want and desire, and we are confident enough not to only devote one hundred and one, but one hundred and two percent of time and emotion to the “one”. The one and only one, the one who might just be the one, the one who we want to be the one and of course, the same “one” we won’t just let slip and get away. 

Life is all about perfect timing, they say. And there’s a perfect explanation why that person was standing on the platform at 6:55 in the morning, waiting for the same train. There’s a perfect explanation why that person is going on their caffeine run at the same exact Starbucks, the same exact city, and the same exact time we were. It’s all about timing. What if that person is actually “the one”?

I know we might often think that maybe we already missed that moment, or it’s too late, or we ran out of time - well, truth is, how do we know that? How do we know that we aren’t meant to be there at that exact place and time? We are always fearful that our ship is not going to come, or if it does, it already left us. But how do we know there’s not another one coming when the time is right? I guess, when that time comes, somehow, somewhat, things will just fall into places altogether. It won’t come a minute sooner, nor an hour later. Perfectly, it’ll just… come. Life is all about timing. Perfect timing. 

- Carmela David, September 2010

“A Long distance relationship is better than a short distance relationship.”

I see people on Tumblr compare these two a lot and the majority believes that long distance relationships are way better than being with someone closer. Well, I beg to differ. 

First of all, a relationship is a relationship, nonetheless. Second of all, why would one be better than the other? I guess you can say people in long distance relationships like the test. But let me tell you this. Believe it or not, the real test in relationships doesn’t even come in until you start living with one another (or at least something close to that).

For example, you’ll experience how cranky he is when he’s lacking sleep, or how willing and able he is to get up at 2 in the morning to make you Theraflu because are feeling under the weather. Better yet, when you do not see eye to eye, so you argue, both mad, yet you still sleep next to each other as opposed to hanging up the phone on a long distance relationship (since you’re 2000 miles away anyways). You’ll realize that “Let’s sleep on it & deal with the bullshit tomorrow” is probably easier than, “Damn, I hate your face right now, but I am still here, right next to you, hoping you’ll give in, but hope I’ll give in too”. You see, that’s just the gist of it if you really want to start talking about relationship’s test. 

Sure, it makes the trips to the airports or train stations more and more significant each time, because the longer you are away from each other, the more you miss them and the more they miss you, and the more the miles apart, the space, the distance, the stronger you feel the butterflies in your stomach as soon as you see them. But let me ask you this. Have you ever been with somebody for four years and still feel the same feeling when you pull up to his driveway, even though you just saw him yesterday? Have you ever felt that nerve racking feeling from time to time, with your heart racing, your chest pounding, your hands shaking right when she steps out of her doorstep, even though you’ve been with her for years & years?

When you love someone, distance and time is irrelevant. Hence, it doesn’t matter which one is better - long or short distance relationship. A relationship is a relationship. You say people in long distance relationships require a whole lot of trust & commitment. Well, here’s a fun fact. If your significant other wants to cheat on you, regardless if you are 2000 miles away or 2 feet away, they’ll still do it with every chance they get. Sad to say, I see it with some of my friends & even having a kid doesn’t stop them. You see, trust and commitment remains equal, nothing more or less, regardless how much space and time is in between. 

Long distance relationships are stressful, expensive and frustrating. But so are short distance relationship. Both requires a lot of work. Yet, we put up with it for our significant other because we care & love them that much. And we are willing to put in that much time and effort to make it work. Also, to make it all worth it. 

Personally, I don’t see myself being in a long distance relationship. For me, seeing someone often is getting to know more and more of them. It is knowing how they act around my family and friends, how they react to a certain situation when it arises. In these situations, you find out how reliable and dependable you both are for each other. Whether it’s you getting a flat tire in the middle of the day, or him losing his debit card & you are there to spot him ‘cause, well, it’s being there for each other. That’s a big part of a relationship, in my opinion. That’s part of being connected to each other in that way. 

It’s funny ‘cause I would never hear this come from someone who is a little older. As far as my talks with my older friends, we do have quite the same mentality about distance in relationships. I guess it makes more and more sense as we grow up since I only see a lot of the younger ones who are inlove with the idea of long distance relationships. But hey, to each their own, right?

But for the younger ones, all I can really say is that, it is still early and you are still growing. You shouldn’t be stressing yourself over somebody who’s thousands and thousands of miles away, thinking whether or not he or she’s faithful to you or he or she’s sharing the same thing with other people. Hang out with friends. Go out with people. It is fun going to the movies, getting coffee or even just talking to people outside of Skype or doing something besides talking on the phone, stressing over how going about saving up every dime you have for a plane ticket just so you can spend a weekend together. Enjoy your life and your youth. 

And in time, when you meet that person, regardless if you are 10 miles or 1000 miles away from each other, if they really interest you and you are both willing and able to make it work, make it all worth it, then, distance and time wouldn’t matter. When that time comes, everything will just fall into place. 

- Carmela David

I will never be that woman that will ever have flawless straight hair, or will I ever have those gorgeous perfect curls. I always have that whole messy, wind-blown hair that I style for like 5 minutes. I will never be that woman that can ever wear anything stylish or designer or elegant ‘cause I’m too clumsy for that. It’s almost always certain I will ruin the fabric by spilling something on it. I am a klutz. It’s almost too embarrassing to admit. 

I’m very disorganized, sometimes. Okay, most of the time. I’ve never succeeded in using and maintaining a planner, or my white board in the kitchen, or my corkbord next to my desk. I always buy them and they last for about two months. Yet, organizing is one of my main jobs, and I am a rock star at it.

I’m that one woman you see outside of Safeway, carrying groceries on both hands with her cellphone ringing, trying to find it while at the same time, trying to fish for her keys, but end up having no luck in doing so. In panic, she drops cans of Campbell chicken noodle soup & she’s now picking them up in the parking lot, while the cans are rolling & rolling away… Yes, that’s me. That woman.

My life is not always together as much as I want it to be. I breakdown sometimes. I often feel like a loser & I believe that God is playing tricks on me, picking on me every now & then. Despite this, I know that this is the real me. This is just who I am. Slowly, I am starting to realize that I’m just really that simple, ditsy, sports-addicted, tomboy-woman that has a complex personality & a bit of irony in her. 

I’m a mess, but I know I’m a beautiful one.

- Carmela David

As we grow older, we a thing or two about the positions of people in our lives. The more and more people we meet, we interact and build relationships with, likewise, the more and more people we are bound to drift apart from. Some we’d love to hold on to, ones who choose to stay, ones who up & leave us, and though at times it really hurts us, we’d have to let them walk away. 

Letting go has always been a difficult task to a lot of us - a father giving away his daughter on her wedding day, an injured athlete having to let go of his passion, a man letting go of happy memories shared with his special woman. All but a painful and heartbreaking process when the thing called life knocks on the front door. 

A good friend of mine, William, said to me, “I don’t let go of my past, but I run forward with it on me at all times”. Although there are some people we have grown to love that we have to let go of, there are times we have to accept the reality that sometimes, there are people that are meant to be loved from a distance. 

I once heard the phrase, “Not everyone deserves a front row seat. Life is a theatre, so invite your audience carefully”. You see, not everyone we love can reciprocate the amount of love that we are willing to provide. Some fall short, and others, finds it impossible to offer at it all. Come to think of it, it’s must be an amazing feeling having to let go of the negativity and the stress ‘caused by the misfortunate relationships and events we have in our lives. The nuisance of having to tolerate the painful remembrance of someone & the memories attached to them. Imagine.

Letting go does not necessarily mean to completely forget, it just simply mean to let things fall into places and keep moving forward. For us to continue in our destination, we need to release all the excess baggage we have during our journey. We must learn to travel light. In essence, in order for the show to go on, we should realize who should sit in the front row and who should be moved to the ‘balcony of our lives’, ‘cause not everyone deserves a front row seat.

Remember, “You cannot change the people around you, but you can always change the people you are around”. - Unknown 

- Carmela David

There are things we tend to do that we can’t justify. Sometimes, we don’t even find the point of even trying to. At times, we react to certain things impulsively and the other times, we spend a day and a half thinking through how to act upon them, yet, do the entire opposite. What more, we do the one thing we keep telling ourselves over and over again not to. But you know, we still do them, even if it doesn’t make any sense. 

Thereafter, we find ourselves stumbling upon these little quotes and advices, little eye-openers if you must, as if God really made it happen for us to click on that particular page at that particular time, print them out, cut and paste them on our bathroom mirror, make them serve as a reminder to us when we wake up in the morning, but nevertheless, we become the very person to disregard them. And even then, we slowly become our own best friend, give ourselves our own pep talk, and what more, tell ourselves our own advice, but still, we fail to listen. Or simply choose not to. And at that point in time, it still doesn’t make any sense.

Why? ‘Cause inevitably, we become too stubborn, too hardheaded, and too prideful. And believe it or not, we pull that “it doesn’t have to make sense” card as an excuse to sort of justify it our actions. The people around us might not understand, or might think we’re irrational or might think we’re simply insane, but hey, it doesn’t have to make sense, right?

You know, like that one time you waited all day to write on his Facebook wall, maybe a simple “Hello, I miss you”, or text her, “Hello, Beautiful”. Even though you are itching to start a conversation just to satisfy and fulfill your need for her attention. Just so for once, he doesn’t only exist in your mind and yours alone. Just so for damn once, you bank on the good feeling knowing you pop into her mind as your name pops into her iPhone screen or Facebook notification, or shit, even a freakin’ @ reply on Twitter. Just so for once, you start to feel that amazing feeling as they are slowly letting you into their lives and they are making that special space, just for you.

But, you don’t. And instead, you call up someone else. Someone a little bit more… (for a lack of a better word) convenient. Someone you don’t have to drive more than 30 miles to chill with ‘cause gas is $4.49 at Chevron. Someone who doesn’t need for you to take a whole day to decide whether or not you should hit them up, leaving your mind racing, your chest pounding, your fingers shaking, your palms all sweating with just the thought of them entering your head ‘cause you gotta admit it, man, that shit is torture. Even worse than a Giant’s ballgame. But yet, no matter how much you desire to be with that person, you still don’t. And you take the easy way out, so you end up being with someone else.

And then you realize, it still doesn’t make any fucking sense.

As we know, when putting ourselves out there, we’re setting ourselves up for a test, a challenge, knowing we can lose, but yet, we can win. But in spite of that, we retreat. We bite our tongues and just not say a word at all. We fill our mind with thoughts of regrets, of all the woulda, coulda, shoulda and a million questions that starts with “What If”. And you start to wonder how things might have been. That you can be with her, and that she can be with you. And that you can be him & no one else but him, but no, no. You choose not to. It doesn’t make sense, right?

Not only do we lie to them when they subtly ask those elusive questions along the lines of, “Do you like me?” or “Do you miss me?” and answer it with a smart ass remark and walk around like we’re owning them in this damn game, like we’re hard as rock, unbreakable, numb and we don’t have those feelings in our chests but in all honesty, in all fucking honesty, the only person we’re really lying to and playing mind tricks with is ourselves. And you know damn well the one person that we’re hurting the most is our selves, as well. And damn it, it still doesn’t make any sense.

Why? ‘Cause we know for a fact that sometimes, it’s better for us to do all this senseless shit now, than to wake up alone the next morning with broken heart, putting the pieces back together and trying too hard to make sense of it all. And that right there, makes just the most perfect sense, all in all.

- Carmela David, May 2011

We stumble across about a million things in our every day lives that make us think, make us remember, make us become aware about certain situations or realization. Some of these things maybe funny to us when we remember them, some can remind us of painful memories, some… just make us realize how we have left those things behind us, how much we have grown, how much progress we have made.

Recently, I have stumbled across this certain quote from Prince Gautama Siddharta, the founder of Buddhism. (Side note: I am not Buddhist, although I do some reading about other religion ‘cause it fascinates me. And though I was born a Catholic and practice it, the more and more I learn about other religions, the more and more similarities I find within each of them. It’s very interesting!) 

The quote said, “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else. You are the one who gets burned.”

It made me think about the people who angered me, who hurt me, who made my life a living misery in the past. Then, as I went through the short list that I have, I can only remember their names and faces. I no longer remember the pain they have inflicted. 

I used to be an angry person. I used to hate each and every single person who did me wrong. I used to make certain feelings, certain judgement, certain actions - unwelcome. I hated love. I loved to hate. I couldn’t forgive, I chose not to forget. In my mind, reconciliation does not exist. I believed one day, I will get them back. One day, I will make them feel the excruciating pain they have once brought upon me. I knew time will come, I will get my revenge. 

My heart turned into an ice cold piece of shit organ. My heart was filled with anger, anger towards these horrid people, and most significantly, anger towards myself. And that, I believe, is the worse kind of anger. Nobody said sorry, nobody said anything. I didn’t. They didn’t. 

Years later, that’s not the case. I grew up and I grew out of it. No longer do I feel hatred in my heart. I may not know if they regretted what they have done, but either way, I have found it in my heart to forgive. I found it in my heart to forget. My heart became so much easier to carry, so much lighter from the baggage I used to carry.

I have learned to forgive. I have learned to let go of the past, surrender the painful grudges that once taken over me. I have learned to let go! And most of all, I have learned not to grasp on hot coals & throw it back to them. Cause in return, my hands, well, it doesn’t burn anymore. 

- Carmela David (2010)

And here you are, sipping the last of your grande white mocha as you fish for your car keys, reading the last paragraph of today’s headline, and the same second you look up, getting ready to leave, you see her walking through the Starbucks door as she checks her phone for the time. Your heart suddenly falls into a quick stop. Well, something like it. You have never seen anything so beautiful. You’ve never seen anyone look so angelic. Like, as if her beauty runs all throughout her body and radiates into a bright white light that is shining into and out of her very soul. And at that moment, you felt as if you’d die if you can’t know her first name. As if it would kill you not to have her in your life.

And here you are, fast forward to three months later. The past three months might have been the best three months of your twenty plus years of existence. Not only do you know her name, but you now also know her least favorite color, her second grade teacher and how she likes her steak medium-rare, mashed potato with white gravy on the side. She’s smart, interesting and funny, like, at times you imagine her sitting on a stool, with a spotlight focused on her pretty face, doing a stand-up in a dark lit room, with you as her only audience. She makes you feel amazing day in and day out and you, you actually really want to be with this wonderful girl, until you found out, she messed up in the past. (I’ll let you write that part).

So now, here you are, you bail. Without giving her a chance, you up & walk away.

Man, let’s face it, people change and that’s the truth. There are good people who turn bad, just as bad people turn good. We might have had a horrible history, but that shouldn’t define us. Just because we messed up, doesn’t necessarily mean we can’t get up from it and change to make ourselves become a better person. We constantly change. We are a work in progress.

We need to realize that it can take for us to make thousands of bad decisions in order to land on a great one. But that, isn’t that the process of becoming better? We are perfectly imperfect and in essence, that’s what makes us beautiful. Our flaws, our inadequacies, our short comings, all but a reflection of our progression in life. Darkness doesn’t stop our progress. “Change is the essence of life. Be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become”.And, believe it or not, our past made us the great people that we are. Why? ‘Cause we damn well learn from it. 

So once more, here you are, sipping the last of your grande white mocha as you fish for your car keys, reading the last paragraph of today’s headline, and the same second you look up, getting ready to leave, you see her walking through the same Starbucks door as she checks her phone for the time. Your heart suddenly falls into a quick stop. Well, once again, something like it. At that moment, you see the same girl. The beautiful, the angelic, the smart, interesting and funny girl who loves medium-rare steak and has amazing stories.

Yes, the same girl you up & left because you couldn’t give her a chance.

So there you are, feeling as if you’d die, all over again. Not because of wanting her. Not because of wanting to know her name. But because now, it kills you, because now you know, you’ll never have her in your life. Because now you know, she’s with another, someone strong enough to see her and the reflection of her life, her beautiful past, her present and her future, just as amazing as the beauty that runs all throughout her body and radiates into a bright white light that is shining into and out of her very soul. And at that moment, you realize how lucky that man is for having her, all of her. And you, my friend, let that slip away. 

- Carmela David, April 21, 2011

I was the main one and she was the other woman.

There was a point in my life I mindlessly fell ‘in love’ with a certain boy. The one who thought he was slick as he fearlessly and steadfastly shoot an “I miss you” text to his other woman, right when I turn around for a few minutes. The one who dialed her number as soon as he drops me off at home and waves at me goodbye.

The one who even introduced the other woman as his best friend& knowing this, was an open invitation for him & her to spend more time together, all without ever being guilty (since best friends hang out, right?) The one whose lips I kissed, when in reality, I blatantly tasted hers. The one whose neck I smelled, but breathed in the scent of her perfume. The one whose hands I held, but his other one, I felt, was being held by her. The one who said “I love you” to me, but in the back of his mind, he was saying it to her too. 

And I thought, he loves me and I love him. It doesn’t matter if he has this other woman. I was chosen to be the main one. That’s what matters, isn’t it? Wrong. I was so young. I was so naive. I was so blind. I was an idiot. I was so ignorant. I shouldn’t have been the main one. I should have been the only one.

And I left. Oh hell yes, I left and moved on to bigger thing, moved on to the better things. Until this boy, once again, came knocking on my front door. The same door we were at when I told him maybe a million times, “I never want to see you, ever”.

But he’s here. Man, he’s here. What the hell is he doing here? I opened the door and just as you imagined, I welcomed him back into my house. And worse? My heart. 

And we started talking again, and started becoming one again. But this time, it was a lot different. It wasn’t the same no longer. And one day I woke up realizing something wasn’t right. That my gut feeling was telling me I am in this wrong place.

Then I realized, I was at this point of my life, I mindlessly fell back ‘in love’ with this same boy. The one who thought he was slick as he fearlessly and steadfastly shoot an “I miss you” text to me, right when his best friend turn around for a few minutes. The one who dialed my number as soon as he drops her off at home and waves at her goodbye.

The one who picked me up with his main woman’s car so we can go out on a date. The one whose lips she kissed, when in reality, she most likely tasted mine. The one whose neck she smelled, but breathed in the scent of my perfume. The one whose hands she held, but his other one, she felt, was being held by me. The one who said “I love you” to her, but in the back of his mind, he was saying it to me too.  Little did I know, she was the main one and I became the other woman. To be on both sides of the spectrum… 

- Carmela David (2009)